The rest of the story

So, some time ago I started telling you all about our IVF journey in our quest to add to our family. For those who dont know, I suffer from secondary infertility due to a hysterectomy (needed for several reasons). I was married at the time with 2 young children and didnt see myself divorced and remarried to my soulmate just 4 short years after this surgery. I figured I was done with my family and given the fact that my then husband had a vasectomy, we had decided that were done and two kids was plenty.

Well, fast forward to 2 years and I have moved on from that marriage and am raising two kids. I meet a wonderful man who is younger than me and has no children. He takes to the kids and is great with them and as we date I tell him that I cannot have children due to my surgery. He says all the right things and makes me love him more. We are married by February 2002 and have already diiscussed surrogacy as the answer to our family building, he jumped right in with both feet and was like, "let's do it". In the process I ended up becoming an egg donor twice and helping two couples realize their dreams of parenthood. I managed to freeze my own embryos and even made it to transfer but nothing ever materialized for various reasons and all my embryos are gone now.

To date we still have no embryos and our quest to add to our family has been put on hold permanently. We are happy with the path we are on right now and with one teenager and one pre-teen, we have decided to spend our years together doing whatever we want, not trying to add to our brood. This was a hard decision for me, harder than it was for hubby, which does ease my pain. My main feeling was if he suffered from the "what if's" and " I shoulda's" later and I was not at an age where my eggs were viable, then I would feel bad. He assures me that he knew there was a chance we would never have any more kids when he met me and he didnt marry me because he wanted kids, but because he loved me. I know, he is awesome right!?!?!.. So I will be 35 this year and that was my cutoff year for doing a retrieval and freeze with my eggs. Needless to say this birthday later this year will be bittersweet.

I cannot complain about anything regarding kids because the fact is I have had two children, a natural birth and a c-section, and I while I never had the little girl I wanted, I am so fortunate to be Mom to two amazing sons. So that chapter has closed but believe me the ride has just started because my oldest son brought home a packet he couldnt wait to show me from school... His L___n High School Freshman packet to pick classes... Uh, wait---- HIGH SCHOOL, how the hell did that happen!!!! Stay tuned to my continuing freak out over this, apparently when I wasnt looking someone hit my ass with the old lady stick and gave me a highschooler in place of my sweet boy!